First of all, let’s get something out of the way:
You are not broken.
Yep, you heard me. Even if your socks don’t match, your to-do list is longer than Michael Jordan’s arm and you’ve spent an entire evening down a rabbit hole, researching “The History of Lost Things That Were Never Really Lost (But Sort Of Were)”.
You know, like:
- Whole cities swallowed by sand, like “Oops, there was a town here once, but now it’s just ghosts and tumbleweed.” – how does that even happen?
- A Victorian letter found 140 years late in someone’s attic. That’s crazy, does no one clean their attic space?
- The time NASA literally lost the Moon landing tapes – wait, what now?!
- That one octopus that escaped an aquarium, slithered through a drain, and vanished into the sea like a legend. A mildly terrifying legend, but a legend no less.
EVEN when you go on those huge detours, like mine right here, feeling lost DOES NOT make you a failure.
It makes you HUMAN. Deliciously, amazingly and chaotically human.
So, let me repeat that:
You are not broken. You are In Between.
But what does that mean?
You know when you’re reading a book, there is always that slightly weird part where the plot is tangled up, and for a little while you don’t have any idea why the main character is standing in the rain, yelling into the abyss?
Yep. That bit right there.
That is where you are, right now.
It’s not the end of your story.
It probably isn’t even the middle.
It’s just…between. It’s somewhere in-between where you have come from, and where you need to be. Like most characters in books, you probably have no idea where the heck you are going, because guess what?
Absolutely none of us do.
We are all just walking around in circles, on this huge planet, trying to work it all out, whilst pretending to already know. When in all honest truth: none of us have any clue, what we’re doing. If it looks like we do, trust me when I say, that that we are just very good at faking it.
The map you thought you had, to direct you to wherever you thought you needed to go? Chances are, you are actually holding it upside down.
You might even been carrying someone else’s, by mistake.
Or it might even be made from cheese. Who knows. That map probably isn’t made for (especially if you’re lactose intolerant), but that does not mean that you are failing.
You’re Not Alone (Even If It Feels Like You Are)
Here’s the biggest cosmic joke ever told: Nearly everyone feels lost, but we’re all pretending we don’t.
Yes, I know I already said that, but it’s something that needs repeating.
We sit quietly, whilst nodding politely and sipping that flavour of tea we don’t actually like. We tell people “I’m fine”, even though we’re skating so close to the edge, it’s amazing we haven’t fallen in. We float around, occasionally bumping into each other, and we’re so bloody British about it, aren’t we? “Sorry, so sorry!”, as we desperately crave for someone to hand us a rope that pulls us in, and holds us down in the exact place we are meant to be.
So here. Consider this blog post your rope.
Grab hold. I’m pulling you in, because I will not let you drift any further on your own.
Tiny Wobbly Steps Count
You don’t have to “get it together”.
You don’t need a five-year life plan or a colour-coded, fancy-pants spreadsheet of your entire existence (although, if that is your vibe, then absolutely no judgement – but please at least use glitter pens and make it sparkly and cute, and also, yes I am incredibly jealous of you right now!).
What you can do is ask yourself:
- What is one tiny (wobbly) thing that would feel a bit better right now?
- Can I sit in the sunlight for five minutes?
- Can I write a sentence, or make toast, or breathe properly, you know, the kind that really fills your whole chest up, and feels really good.
You’re allowed to take baby steps.
You’re allowed to sit still, when you need to.
So, what now?
You want to know what you’re going to do? You are going to pick yourself right up, and you are going to keep going. You keep being soft. You keep being your fabulously weird self. You keep being tired and brilliant and slightly overwhelmed by it all.
And then, when it all feels too much, remember this:
You’re not a puzzle waiting to be solved.
You are not broken. You don’t need fixing
You are in fact a story that is just unfolding.
And stories? The best ones always lose the plot somewhere in the middle; that’s what makes them more interesting.
If you need a little love in your letterbox; something that is gentle and unexpectedly and slightly magical, then I’ve got you. I am always here, whenever you need a friend, and I will write until the fog clears for you, and you don’t need me anymore; a little bit like Mary Poppins, but slightly less frilly.
PLEASE NOTE: This blog post has not been edited. Yes it is full of spelling and grammatical errors. These are left in, as part of the writing process for this style of blog post is to be chaotically authentic; warts and all.